Monday, May 3, 2010

Reviewing the Past In Light of the Present

Blogging has definitely become less of a priority for me. Another month has passed by without a post. I've had a number of things I've thought about writing about. However, it just doesn't seem like something I need to do so much. As I said before, I tend to write more when I'm down and negative. The past month has been one of continued, general improvement. At the moment I can say my general feelings of well-being and mental heath are the best they have been in at least five years. All this has made me wonder about what I have written on this blog in the past.

I started this blog as a way of trying to vent and deal with issues I had over the past couple years when I was in a poor state of mental health. As I read over past entries I can easily see the high level of general anxiety I was under during that time. However, I cannot think of much, if anything, I would change about what I wrote. Perhaps some subtle aspects of tone would change if I were to (re)write them now. One great validation to myself in reviewing these old posts is the ability I retained, despite the anxiety, of being able to still hear my internal voice of reason.

Over the past while I have had the experience of associating with and/or dealing with people who had no internal check on reason and rationality. As much as I have suffered in my own problems and condition I at least have been blessed to keep contact with at least some small part of my mind that tells me "This isn't rational." I'm so grateful for it, I have started to cry as I write this.

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